I don't love you

It has started. I thought that it would take longer, but I have received my first, "I don't love you."

It was late, or early, I'm not sure. I think it was 4:00amish. Tahlia was crying. Currently, we are going through a major transition, and Tahlia's outbursts are "normal." They aren't enjoyable, but they are expected.

I went in to calm her. She was crying about I don't know what, and I don't know what. When I arrived in the room, I helped her onto the potty, and told her everything would be ok. Apparently, that wasn't the right thing. Apparently, I wasn't the right person; she wanted Mommy.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, at the twilight of morning, a parent can be short. I was short. I attempted to explain to Tahlia that I was tired, she needed sleep, and Mommy was sleeping. For all of these plausible reasons, Tahlia needed to go back to bed - back to sleep.

This made her upset, and she began to cry. I, again, being rational, attempted to explain to her about the need to be quiet so that Asher could sleep, Daddy could go back to sleep, Tahlia could go to sleep, and Mommy could continue sleeping.

This made her upset. I gave her a kiss and let her know that I needed to go. Her response: "I don't love you, Daddy."

From my years of teaching, I've realized the importance of letting students know that their feelings are valid, although, they may not result in the desired effect the speaker intends. For some reason, at this early morning hour, I fell into my teacher mode and stated, "I believe you Tahlia." She looked at me blankly, much like my students do when they tell me they don't want to move away from their friends and I state, "I believe you. Now please move over there."

I kissed her again and said, "I just need you to know that I love you soooo much." This calmed her and she laid her head down on the pillow once again. I left, and soon she was asleep, hopefully dreaming about a Daddy who loves her, and who she loves too.